I've had some really wonderful and sweet opportunities lately to get to share more about myself on other blogs lately (q&a letterbox, our nest in the city), and I've really enjoyed getting to reflect on my day and what life is like in these shoes of mine. I've also been asked to take some studio shots lately for some of these, which is so funny to me because my studio is, well, my living room.
This picture is taken while literally standing on my couch.
What I love most about this space is probably the natural light that comes in through the window on the right - we get this sweet, sweet view of Mont Royal from our window, and this jaw dropping show of the sun setting on the city from here. There are probably several times a day where I look out the window and am just in awe.
What is hard about this space is keeping it clean. Now, I am a pretty messy person. This is probably the cleanest my desk is going to look, because I took this picture in January right after I cleaned it for the new year and now, well, it's not January. I have always had a messy room - my parents will definitely attest to that! Keeping things clean and tidy and put away and organized has never EVER been second nature to me, and the times when I do try and clean come with a deep breath of ALRIGHT HERE WE GO AHHHHHH. Yes.
I wonder, though, especially in this age of minimalism and clean lines - all of which I love! - if being messy or clean becomes another thing to have shame over or to take pride in. Almost as if a clean house means you are more accomplished or smarter, and says this or that about you, while a messy house, a messy desk says the opposite. I think there are times where I have thought that about myself, kicking myself for not being able to be cleaner or tidier, and wondering if that then speaks to some failing in my character or something like that.
So to that, I say: just be. If you are clean, great. If you are messy, you're still great. You are not your minimalism or lack of minimalism; you are not your cleanliness or your mess; you are you, and how you keep house or desk or clean up or don't clean up is not you. You are free to be clean or to be messy because your identity isn't in those things; it's just not who you are.
And this is freeing for me. I don't want to feel bad about messy or be shamed into cleaning up. And I am not against cleanliness. In fact, I like it very much. Probably once a month, my husband and I will look around our apartment and take a deep breath and dive into cleaning it, and after we do it, it feels so, so good. We just sit on the couch and look around the apartment and grin. We have recognized, though, that we are messy - which means we have to put more effort into keeping things clean, but it also means we are learning to recognize the small things too, knowing it required more effort than someone who is more naturally clean. The coats are put away? YAY! The floor is swept? YAY! Let's celebrate - let's celebrate all the big and little things, and not miss a chance to do so, because at the end of the day, what we're really celebrating is being and living, and what's not to celebrate about that?
(I realize that this post may make us sound like we live in filth - so mom and dad, if you're reading, we're okay, we're not swimming in bacteria, we're fine.)